Dr. Phil is a Joke Blog

 

millard tries to weasel out of a drunk driving citation...police offers response:

"You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't.  Sign here."

 

 

NOT !!  YEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWW

 

 

millard's superior had enough and posted this on the INS website:

1. "Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has started to dig."

2. "I would not allow this employee to breed."

3. "This employee is really not so much of a 'has-been', but more of a definite 'won't be'."

4. "Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap."

5. "When he opens his mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet."

6. "This young lady had delusions of adequacy."

7. "He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them."

8. "This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot."

9. "This employee should go far, and the sooner he starts, the better."

10. "Got a full six pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together."

11. "A gross ignoramus ... 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus."

12. "He doesn't have ulcers, but he's a distributor."

13. "I would like to go hunting with him sometime."

14. "He's been working with glue too much."

15. "He would argue with a signpost."

16. "He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room."

17. "When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell."

18. "If you see two people talking and one looks bored, he's the other one."

19. "A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on."

20 "A prime candidate for natural de-selection."

21. "Donated his brain to science before he was done using it."

22. "Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming."

23. "He's got two brain cells, one is lost and the other is out looking for it."

24. "If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week."

25. "If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change."

26. "If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean."

27. "It's hard to believe she beat out 1,000,000 other sperm."

28. "One neuron short of a synapse."

29. "Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; she only gargled."

30. "Takes him two hours to watch '60 Minutes.'"

31. "The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead."

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Ann Coulter's Culture of Life: Suggests Giving Rat Poison to Skunkomillardo

Gee, you gotta love Republicans who promote their version of a culture of logic.

During a speech, conservative hottie and future possible presidential nominee Ann Coulter suggested poisoning Skunkomillardo.

Coulter was trying to make the case for a more conservative blogging experience that would change abortion laws, when she said: "We need somebody to put rat poisoning in Millardoretardo's creme brulee.  That's not a joke, for you in the media."

Well, call me crazy here, but anyone who talks about poisoning a horrific blogger and liberal fanatic, whether they claim to be joking or not, sounds like a genius to me.  So perhaps President Bush should start offering Ann Coulter a CMH or perhaps the Nobel Peace Prize.

 

2006/01/29 6:14:16	Hard to believe millardo's parents haven't tried that already. Do you think she could have built up a tolerance?	A Conservative Realist	asmalldoseofreality.bloghi.com/	yes
2006/01/29 6:18:01	Perhaps a little antifreeze. The vet says it even tastes sweet to animals.:wink:	C-Mom	conservative-central.bloghi.com/	yes
2006/01/29 6:38:55	not the creme broulee', that's going just a little bit too far	Elmers Brother	elmersbro.bloghi.com/	yes
2006/01/29 6:45:20	You know, she could bleed to death from being struck by a flying mirror shard while looking.	A Conservative Realist	asmalldoseofreality.bloghi.com/	yes
2006/01/29 6:48:01	How about calling in Oral Roberts and having a telethon for her? If we don't reach $25 million by a certain time maybe the Lord will take her.	Elmers Brother	elmersbro.bloghi.com/	yes
2006/01/29 6:52:21	If that doesn't work the prayer tower is pretty high.	Elmers Brother	elmersbro.bloghi.com/	yes
2006/01/29 6:57:41	I love it that you all are wishing for my death. It's a beautiful thing. Maybe Satan and the Anti-Christ will take you bastards into the Lake of Fire with them.			no
2006/01/29 6:59:25	Chill pill Millard, nobody wants you dead. We'd have to find a new liberal fanatic to mock.	Elmers Brother	elmersbro.bloghi.com/	yes
2006/01/29 7:02:46	It's a take off on your culture of death diatribe...Hey wait I think I found your funny bone...over here with a hanging/PREGNANT chad.	Elmers Brother	elmersbro.bloghi.com/	yes
2006/01/29 7:16:09	Go f*ck off, Elmer's Bastard. "Culture of death diatribe?" It wasn't a diatribe. It was Ann Coulter's acutal comments, when she suggested giving rat poison to a sitting Supreme Court Justice. That is not a game. That is terrorism, pure and simple. You do not even joke about things like that, ok? There is a line, and Ann Coulter continously crosses it. When are you going to get it though your half-ass brain that the Republican Party continously supports a culture of death. Michael Savage saying Bill Clinton only survived his heart surgery because "hell was full." Pat Robertson praying for the death of ill Supreme Court justices, and calling for the assassination of Hugo Chavez. Glenn Beck saying he was contemplating whether to hire someone to kill Michael Moore, or do it himself. These are the folks that you support, Elmer's Bastard. Which means you support a culture of death.			no
2006/01/29 7:21:37	You only assume I support them, because to you anyone who is a conservative can be lumped into a large group. It's easier for you marginalize them in your sick twisted progressive brain. No, you don't want to treat people as individuals because then you can play the same game. Does Calypso Louis Farrakhan speak for you because he is black and a liberal? Such nasty language, now you're using *'s. Stop your cursing or you will go into the Lake of Fire. (He said tongue in cheek)	Elmers Brother	elmersbro.bloghi.com/	yes
2006/01/29 7:22:49	Hey Barry have you seen how many comments she's had on her blog lately? You won't need a calculator or even two hands.	Elmers Brother	elmersbro.bloghi.com/	yes
2006/01/29 7:25:26	It's called hyperbole Idiot Blogger. Here's a definition for you. A figure of speech in which exaggeration is used for emphasis or effect, as in I could sleep for a year or This book weighs a ton.	Elmers Brother	elmersbro.bloghi.com/	yes
2006/01/29 7:26:38	uh oh...you are whomped up sm....guess what? I love watching the Daily Show and the Colbert Report, David Letterman, Jay Leno and a number of other COMEDY shows that poke fun at everything...including republicans, conservatives and even democratic and liberals occasionally. Lighten up sm, learn to laugh. It adds years to your life. Ann Coulter even SAID she was joking and in your heart every comment regarding you is made is jest. Perhaps you could take it in that spirit and know that I personally and I suspect a number of other bloggers are more than willing to take whatever social commentary you choose to make in jest. As far as I know there is no American vs. American jihad going on. Have a couple of martini's and kick back.	A Conservative Realist	asmalldoseofreality.bloghi.com/	yes
2006/01/29 10:15:56	Listen Elmer's Bastard, it was not hyperbole what Ann Coulter, Glenn Beck, Michael Savage, Pat Robertson or any of your other buddies said. They meant it. And I suspect you meant it when you and the others on here wished death upon me, because that's just how sick you all are. Again, there are some things you don't joke about in this country, and poisoning a Supreme Court Justice is one of them. Why do you think people can't say certain things about the President of the United States? The Secret Services takes these kinds of things very seriously. And to Conservative Unrealist, sure they are shows that poke fun at politicians, but they DO NOT wish death upon them, like you and your ilk do. You all are just sick. We have had some political disagreements on here, but I have NEVER wished death upon any of you, like you did me today. It's not "hyperbole." You guys are just sick, pathetic bastards.			no
2006/01/29 10:24:46	Why do you think people can't say certain things about the President of the United States? You mean like call him Bushie, or Idiot Son? Is that hyperbole? You my dear are no John Kennedy.	Elmers Brother	elmersbro.bloghi.com/	yes
2006/01/29 10:26:55	If you think what they said was so serious there is a thing called a citizen's arrest. If you are a citizen?	Elmers Brother	elmersbro.bloghi.com/	yes
2006/01/29 10:30:37	You clueless bastard, you are comparing apples and oranges, fucking idiot. Calling George Bush "Idiot Son" or "Bushie" is not a death threat, which Ann Coulter's comments (and your's today against me) essentially mounted to. Calling Bush "Idiot Son" is not a death threat! Don't you get that! Suggesting poisiong someone with rat poison (like Ann Coulter did) or antifreeze or creme brulee (like you all did against me today) IS tantamout to wishing death upon someone, and could even be considered a threat. And one of you bloggers (I forget which one) even posted my former work address in one of your posts. How do I know that you all wouldn't be sick enough to actually try to show up at my job and harm me? Because I actually think you all are that sick.	SMillard	progressiveminds.bloghi.com/	yes
2006/01/29 10:32:31	Of course you do. It's the vast right wing conspiracy don't you know. I get Shalana, you have no sense of humor and worse yet no common sense. Crawl back in your hole while we have our belly laughs, nobody wants to hurt. Least of all us compassionate conservatives.	Elmers Brother	elmersbro.bloghi.com/	yes
2006/01/29 10:33:44	Only someone who takes themselves as seriously as you do would think that we would take time our of lives to come after you. :grin::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:	Elmers Brother	elmersbro.bloghi.com/	yes
2006/01/29 10:37:45	Thanks for the traffic again. We appreciate it.	Elmers Brother	elmersbro.bloghi.com/	yes
2006/01/29 10:48:50	Elmer's Bastard, you're damn right I take death threats and wishes seriously. Obviously you don't, and that's sad. And there's nothing compassionate about your brand of conservatism. You and your conservative ilk have a lot in common with bin Laden. You, Conservative Realist, and the others wish death on someone like me who does not agree with you. Osama bin Laden wishes death on Americans and anyone who doesn't agree with his extremist philosophy. You all have a lot in common. No wonder you are in love with Osama bin Laden.	SMillard	progressiveminds.bloghi.com/	yes
2006/01/29 11:16:02	Oh so you are not for abortion?	Elmers Brother	elmersbro.bloghi.com/	yes
2006/01/29 11:19:24	You ARE NOT going to try to change this to a debate about abortion. Abortion is not the issue here. We are talking about neo-facist Republicans like You, C-Mom, and Conservative Realist wishing death upon me, and even suggesting of ways to do it, simply because we don't agree politically. And we are talking about Ann Coulter wishing death upon a Supreme Court Justice whom she does not agree with. Abortion is not part of this equation. It's about Republicans who are so low-down, mean and dirty that you all wish death upon people who you don't agree with politically, and who don't agree with you politically.	SMillard	progressiveminds.bloghi.com/	yes
2006/01/29 11:45:24	You can't take death threats that serious if you are for abortion. Hey want to hear some stupid things people on the other side of the aisle have said: Those who survived the San Francisco earthquake said, "Thank God, I'm still alive." But, of course, those who died, their lives will never be the same again. -- Sen. Barbara Boxer, (D, Calif.) You know, if I were a single man, I might ask that mummy out. That's a good-looking mummy! -- President Bill Clinton, looking at the recently-discovered Inca mummy "Juanita" Mr. Clinton made a "joke" during a White House Press meeting during the weekend of May 1, 1999. He assured the group that although Al Gore attended the Kentucky Derby, he did not sire the winning horse. Everyone laughed (??) This is the president of the United States, making jokes about the VP having sex with a horse? Source: AP wire. May 2, 1999 "[I]t depends on how you define "alone" ... there were a lot of times when we were alone, but I never really thought we were." - President Bill Clinton Here's one just for you Shanaynay "You can't say you love your country and hate your government." - Bill Clinton, 1995 (After the OKC bombing) "The other thing we have to do is to take seriously the role in this problem of...older men who prey on underage women...There are consequences to decisions and...one way or the other, people always wind up being held accountable." Bill Clinton, June 13, 1996, in a speech endorsing a national effort against teen pregnancy. I don't care what people are saying Uptown or wherever they are. This city will be chocolate at the end of the day." --New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin "No matter what the greatest tyrant in the world, the greatest terrorist in the world, George W. Bush says, we're here to tell you: Not hundreds, not thousands, but millions of the American people … support your revolution," --Harry Belafonte, speaking alongside Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez in Caracas White people scare the crap out of me. … I have never been attacked by a black person, never been evicted by a black person, never had my security deposit ripped off by a black landlord, never had a black landlord … never been pulled over by a black cop, never been sold a lemon by a black car salesman, never seen a black car salesman, never had a black person deny me a bank loan, never had a black person bury my movie, and I've never heard a black person say, 'We're going to eliminate ten thousand jobs here - have a nice day!'" --Michael Moore, writing in "Stupid White Men" "Throughout most of my life, I raised tobacco. I want you to know that with my own hands, all of my life, I put it in the plant beds and transferred it. I've hoed it. I've dug in it. I've sprayed it, I've chopped it, I've shredded it, spiked it, put it in the barn and stripped it and sold it. Al Gore Does this mean Al Gore wants to kill people with tobacco? Unless your Millard no sensible person would draw this conclusion. "I still want to be the candidate for guys with Confederate flags in their pickup trucks. Howard Dean Does this make Dean a racist? In other words Shanaynay people say stupid stuff, get over it.	Elmers Brother	elmersbro.bloghi.com/	yes
2006/01/29 11:48:04	Hey we run this blog so it can be about anything we want. You talk about the "so called culture of death" from the right but ignore the abortion issue. Fine. We'll keep mocking you, but I promise I won't send Luigi or Bruno after you if you promise that when I send you back your sense of humor you will tip the FEDEX guy. You know they make next to nothing thanks to us lousy repugnuts.	Elmers Brother	elmersbro.bloghi.com/	yes
2006/01/29 11:51:11	"Abortion is not part of this equation." No, I must agree, unlike those innocent jokes about rat poison it is killing for real and on a massive scale.			no
2006/01/30 12:16:12	And there's nothing compassionate about your brand of conservatism. Hahahaha you still don't get it????:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:	Elmers Brother	elmersbro.bloghi.com/	yes
2006/01/30 9:17:43	WOW!:eek: I need to get on the cpu a little later than I do! I can't belive I missed this! :cool::grin::lol: Where did I say I wanted to kill Millard?:???:	C-Mom	conservative-central.bloghi.com/	yes
2006/01/30 9:24:05	c-mom, how's it feel to be a neo fascist? my high schol counselor suggested this to me in between stays in the gulag			no
2006/01/30 9:25:29	school not schol			no
2006/01/30 7:52:38	ms. millard...Ann Coulter said... IN WRITING... I am joking... did you read that part?	A Conservative Realist	asmalldoseofreality.bloghi.com/

 

 

 

There are African Americans, Mexican Americans,

Asian Americans, Arab Americans, Native Americans, etc.

And then there are just Americans.

You pass me on the street and sneer in my direction.

You Call me "White boy," "Cracker," "Honkey,"

"Whitey," "Caveman" .. And that's OK.

But when I call you, Nigger, Towel head, Sand-nigger,

Camel Jockey, Beaner, Gook, or Chink ... You call me a racist.

You say that whites commit a lot of violence against you,

So why are the ghettos the most dangerous places to live?

You have the United Negro College Fund. You have Martin Luther King

Day. You have Black History Month. You have Cesar Chavez Day. You have Ma'uled Al-Nabi You have the NAACP.

You have BET.

If we had WET (White Entertainment Television) . We'd be racists.

 

If we had a White Pride Day ..

You would call us racists.

 

If we had White History Month  

We'd be racists.

 

If we had any organization for only whites to "advance" OUR lives . 

We'd be racists.

We have a Hispanic Chamber of Commerce, a Black Chamber of Commerce, and then we just have the plain Chamber of Commerce.

Wonder who pays for that?

If we had a college fund that only gave white students scholarships

... You know we'd be racists.

There are over 60 openly proclaimed Black Colleges in the US , yet if there were

"White colleges" .

THAT would be a racist college.

In the Million Man March, you believed that you were marching For your race and rights.

If we marched for our race and rights,

You would call us racists.

You are proud to be black, brown, yellow and orange, and you're Not afraid to announce it.

But when we announce our white pride .. 

You call us racists.

You rob us, carjack us, and shoot at us. But, when a white police officer Shoots a black gang member or beats up a black drug-dealer running From the law and posing a threat to society . 

You call him a racist.

I am proud.

But, you call me a racist.

Why is it that only whites can be racists?