Dr. Phil is a Joke Blog

After seeing the first fellow from the Internet, one can understand why the Idiot Blogger would have been less than happy with him.
She dumped him for this inticing man.

 

If the mainstream media ran the country...

By Ben Shapiro

Mar 22, 2006

March 21, 2006, WASHINGTON -- Today, after six years of unending attacks on the honor and credibility of his administration, President Bush called for a constitutional amendment to hand over the reins of American governance to members of the mainstream press. "It has been my privilege to work for the American people," Bush stated, "but I now realize that I can never satisfy the requirements of this office. In my opinion, only one person can meet the challenges we face today: respected journalist Helen Thomas. Furthermore, Congress cannot serve the American populace unless it is represented by opinion writers and reporters from the mainstream media." Congressional Republicans and Democrats stand poised to vote on President Bush's proposal; state legislatures stand at the ready to confirm such an amendment. If passed immediately, Ms. Thomas would take over the presidency on April 1, 2006.

*****
 April 1, 2006, WASHINGTON -- Helen Thomas took her oath of office today, officially becoming the 44th president of the United States. In her inaugural address, President Thomas announced the guiding policy for her administration: "We will seek to ensure the security of our citizens without bloodshed and without compromising the values that make America great. We will pull our troops out of Iraq. We will pull our troops out of Afghanistan. We will immediately shut down Guantanamo Bay and release the prisoners of war being held without charge there; we will compensate them for their unjustified detention. We will end warrantless wiretapping, and we will end the torture of terrorists for information. We will shut down the racist vigilante group now patrolling our border with Mexico. I pledge not to threaten or cajole any country into adopting values in concert with those of the United States -- we must earn respect by deference to the values of others. Let us end the War on Terror; let us begin the War for Peace." Thomas' cabinet is an impressive slate of columnists and commentators: Vice President Ted Turner, Secretary of State Thomas Friedman, Secretary of Defense Michael Moore and National Security Advisor Maureen Dowd, among others. The new Senate leader is Arianna Huffington; the new House leader is Oscar-winner George Clooney.

*****
 April 2, 2006, WASHINGTON -- Several members of President Thomas' cabinet released statements today thanking the American public for their support and pledging to uphold their oaths of office. "I hope to put a stop to all war. Forever. Yes, forever. I'm rich, so I can do that," read a statement released by VP Turner. Secretary of State Friedman said, "I look forward to traveling to different countries on the taxpayer dime. I can't wait to sip a Coke with President Ahmadinejad of Iran. After all, if we can all drink Coke together, can't we create world peace?" Secretary of Defense Moore was optimistic about the new administration: "We're going to let the freedom fighters have their freedom. We're going to bring the baby-killers home. We're going to force business owners to hire more workers at bayonet point. And we're going to put George W. Bush on trial for war crimes." NSA Maureen Dowd issued the following statement: "Bush and Rummy are gone; the big, burly rough-guys with their impetuously masculine attitude are outta here. Sex and the City party at the White House tonight!" Meanwhile, legislation nationalizing talk radio and diverting the War on Terror budget to NPR is making its way through Congress. The legislation is sponsored by Rep. Clooney, who explained, "The War for Peace has casualties. I want to make sure Rush Limbaugh is the first to sacrifice for his country."

*****
 May 1, 2006, the city formerly known as WASHINGTON -- Today, President Thomas completed the handover of the Great Satan to the United Nations. After the six nuclear attacks of last month, and with the country in total chaos, UN Secretary General Kofi Annan offered to broker a peace treaty between the Great Satan and the glorious servants of Mohammed, peace be upon him. The terms of the treaty dictated that the Great Satan rename Washington, D.C., utilize all of its taxpayer funding for purposes consistent with Islamic sharia law, and create a plan for the invasion of Britain, Australia and the Little Satan, Israel. President Thomas heralded the agreement as "a small step for The Nation subscribers, a giant leap for most Americans." Thomas responded to the protests of millions of Americans, stating, "Look, we never lied to you. We are the most honest administration in the history of the former United States." (This story edited for accuracy and blasphemy by the Islamic Press Association.)

 

Millardo decided to take ballet lessons but when she went to jump in the male stars outstretched hands she hospitalized him.

Let's just say Swan Lake turned into "swan dive"

We here at RM would like to suggest to the Idiot Blogger that she could perhaps use a computer upgrade:



Just plug it into an open USB port, and away you go!

It appears that millardo really isn't just full of herself; her blog has captured intergalactic attention. The aliens asked us to relay this message to her:

It's amazing what is on google if one looks.  Whoever issues these cards is being misused and so are the taxpayers.  This stuff is too increible to make up: Write your congressman or congresswoman NOW!

MILLARD, SHALANA

1220 L. STREET, NW

SUITE 500

WASHINGTON

DC

20005

Regressive Minds suggests this product if you find yourself constantly arguing with liberals.

2006/3/15

How Low Can She Go?

A new Pew Research Poll has the Chimp's approval rating at an all-time low of 33%.  And as always, my question is: who are the 33%?

More Americans view Chimp as dishonest, and use the word "incompetent" to descirbe her.

Well America, what took so long for the grand awakening? 

I won't bother saying "told you so." 

Finally....a "man" who satisfies millardo's every craving...however she better hurry to snag him before Al Gore does.

These dudes will be running like hell, when they hear that.

You always know that spring is here when the girls start showing their belly buttons.

In the case of the Leftist Blogger, we would advise her to perhaps try a larger size.

It seems that liberal leftists and pundits a la millardo have gone the way of the dino, as evidenced by this 'illegal' spy shot taken of millardo at her computer, getting ready to blog out another load of nonsense.

This just in: Regressive Minds has learned via wire-tapped intellegence that Muslim normalists are in the process of hijacking certain liberal progressive blogs for their own PR purposes.

Sadly, the hijacked blogger in question did not put up a fight, and instead willingly went to work pounding out nonsense for them.

For pure poetry and brains, there is nothing like the Ali - Foreman Fight in 1974

Ali sprung like a cobra in the eighth round. He exploded with a right-left combo, over Foreman’s lowered arms, directly to the chin of the exhausted champ. Foreman went down, and couldn’t beat the count. Ali had stared down the barrel of the world’s most powerful heavyweight—a physically superior opponent—and completely out-thought him in the ring. Ali’s strategy, the infamous "rope-a-dope", reversed the odds. Muhammed Ali was the Heavyweight Champion of the World, only the second man to ever win the title back.

Ali would go on to rule the heavyweights.

The democrats are presently going nowhere with no ideas like a ship without a rudder and the RNC is sitting back and letting them hang themselves.  History is always instructive. 

Another parellel:  George Foreman = left wing dopey bloggers

                        Muhammet Ali = conservatives and the RNC