Dr. Phil is a Joke Blog

 

Looks like Idiot Blogger's approval ratings are in another freefall.

CBS News has her current approval rating at an all-time low of 34%.

My only question: who are the 34% who refuse to live in the reality-based community? 

 

The INS decided to post a public service sign near millardoretardo's desk over the week.

Police arrested millardoretardo yesterday on charges of drunken disorderly and blogging without a liscense.
When asked by reporters if she had a comment, millardoretardo was quoted as saying, "F&#^ you, you F#$@  B@^!%&#$ !!!
Millardo was then charged with public profanity and another count of disorderly conduct.

Weekend freelancing as a government civil project designer didn't work that well.

Part II

The Relationship Begins

MIAMI, FL - As stated in Part 1 of our 3 part series, current local legend would leave us to believe that Reno somehow killed and ate the Florida Skunkape. However the Corky Report believes it has uncovered a series of documents that prove these rumors to be untrue. Our investigation proves that not only did the residents of the area know the Skunkape was alive, they also knew of the Reno-Skunkape relationship and may have took steps to prevent the relationship from continuing.

According to the following article from the South Dade News Leader steps to prevent a human/skunkape relationship started to surface as early as October of 1977.

The South Dade News Leader dated Oct. 1977. Skunk Ape Recognized in the Courts TALLAHASSEE, Fla. (AP) A bill making it illegal to molest a skunkape has been passed by a legislative committee as a lawmaker renews his effort to protect the legendary anthropoid. The Criminal Justice Committee passed the bill (HB58) by Rep. Paul Nuckolls, R-Fort Myers, Tuesday after Nuckolls unveiled it for the second year in a row. Last session, the bill passed committee but never reached the floor. Courtesy of Daniel Smith - Skunkape Research and Historical Archiving Organization

The bill to protect the Skunkape (HB58) was never passed. Some believe this bill was killed by Reno and was just a precursor to her behavior as Attorney General, however these allegations where never made to stick.

The next document uncovered by the Corky Report is truly amazing. While searching marriage records in the State of Florida, The Corky Report stumbled upon what appears to be a copy of a marriage certificate with the names, Reno and Skunkape. The date on the document is March 21,1979 and the document contains the official Florida seal. The Corky Report has included a copy of this document as part of this report so other media sources can review it, however at this time The Corky Report can not verify the document's authenticity.

The Marriage of a Skunkape and a human would seem to violate Florida law, however experts contacted by The Corky Report had a different opinion. 

Gary Beaverton of Beaverton, Barry and Bush said, "While some may argue that a human can not marry outside their species there is some question as too what Janet Reno is. Reno could have claimed at the time that she too is a member of the Skunkape species and it would be very difficult to argue with her on that point. I mean, just look at her. Personally I think the Skunkape could have done better, but who am I to pass judgment."

We could not find any actual lawyers that where willing to talk to The Corky Report on this subject, however we believe if they did talk to us they would have agreed with the statements made within this article.

Hidden Relationship Takes it Toll

In late 1978 Janet Reno was appointed as the state attorney for Dade County, Florida by then governor Reubin Askew. This was Reno's dream job and she couldn't risk letting anyone know of her relationship with the Skunkape. Needing to cover-up her relationship Reno moved to Miami and left her lifetime partner back in the Everglades. In addition she used her new found powers to have the Reno/Skunkape Marriage wiped from the books. Everything was going good for Reno, but the same could not be said the Skunkape that was left behind.

Back in the Everglades reports of the Skunkape died down, but a new sighting began to appear. Even though Reno was living in Miami people in the Everglades started telling stories about a 7 foot-tall Janet Reno look-a-like that would only appear during the evening. While locals dismissed the sightings as mistaken identity The Corky Report has information that could explain these sightings.

According to newly obtained information, The Corky Report has reason to believe these sightings where actually the Florida Skunkape dressed up like Janet Reno. Sources close to Reno at the time tell stories about how Reno use to dress up like a monkey and run around her house, so it would only stand to reason that Reno would have taught the Skunkape to dress up like her, possibly as part of some sick sex game. While we can not verify this information to be true, it is distributing. 

Reno would come back to her Everglades home every weekend during her time as state attorney for Dade County, but her time away from her companion took it's toll on their relationship and caused a lot of stress that would persist for the next 16 years. But things would get even wilder for this couple on the wild side.

In part 3 of our 3 part series we will discuss the move of Reno and the Skunkape to Washington DC and some never before released information on the Skunkape's involvement in Waco, Oklahoma City and how the Skunkape raised over 2 million dollars for the Democratic party in oversea trips to China.

 

millardo and friends always bling it up when hitting the pavement.

But who is who?

Reno-Skunkape Connection Revealed!
Documents Prove Reno and Skunkape Lifetime Companions

The Corky Report has obtained official documents that prove there is a link between the Florida Skunkape and former Attorney General Janet Reno. According to newly released documents Janet Reno has had an on-going relationship with the Florida Skunkape for nearly 24 years and they recently attempted to get married in Vermont. Details of this amazing story will be published on the Corky Report in a 3 part series beginning Wednesday, September 5, 2001.

Part I:

The Beginning

MIAMI, FL - The Florida Skunkape is generally referred to as Florida's version of "Bigfoot". Standing over 7 feet tall and having a reddish brown hair the Skunkape is an intimidating creature indeed. However this apparently wasn't enough to discourage the relationship that flourished between Reno and the Skunkape.

Reno was born in Florida and lived here for most of her life. Living in the South Florida, Reno first became aware of the Skunkape during the late 1970s.

South Florida in the 1970s was a far cry from the sprawling suburbs of today. As illustrated in the movie Porky's, South Florida was mostly an uninhabited swamp area. Reports of the Skunkape where common and Reno was a leader in the hunt to capture this elusive creature.

According to newspaper articles from the time, Reno received funding to capture the creature from the Florida Institute of Research for Large Animals and Fish (FITRLAF). After 14 months of searching and showing no results funding was pulled Reno was back to searching on her own. But she wouldn't need to search much longer since the discovery of the Skunkape was right around the corner.

Skunkape Discovered

Reno's big break came in February of 1977. According to unofficial documents and newspaper articles from the time Reno first made contact with the Skunkape while fishing for catfish at Lake Okeechobee.

Reno was fishing at the lake like she did every Tuesday when she spotted the 7 foot tall creature. Even thought she had no equipment to capture the creature, the 6' 4" Reno pursued the Skunkape deep into the swamps of the Florida Everglades.

From there the stories are sketchy but local legend has it Reno somehow captured the creature and returned it to her home. Most locals believe Reno killed and then ate the Skunkape, however exclusive documents obtained by the Corky Report tell a different story, a much different story.


More to follow tomorrow...

Due to the total lack of cogent or logical argument on her blog, and her near total lack of readership, skunkomillardo has decided upon this new blog avatar:

Millardoretardo likes to start her day with a steaming hot cup of premium imported Joe...

Skundomillardo is seen here on her way to her cushy government job.

Regressive Minds has recently aquired a newborn picture of skunkomillardo. Truly a face only a mother could love.

Millardo has devestated her ex-boyfriend, who saw her out on a Valentine's date last night.
He refused to comment, saying only that he would still be a faithful Progressive Minds  reader.

Millardoretardo managed to bag a date for Valentine's Day, yesterday. Regressive Minds has managed to aquire a photo.

 

While attending a Bare Your Breasts for Peace Rally Millard is the only one who is chased down for indecent exposure.

After a painful day of blogging Shalana drinks her sorrows away and ends up in a DUI public service announcement.

 

After some time Skunko finds here computer manual

 

Due to a recent bout of midlife liberal crisis brought on by her blog being quashed, millardoretardo has financed the lease on a shiny new car.

Bottom of the Barrel

According to a new AP-Ipsos poll, Idiot Blogger Shalana Millard's approval rating is "stuck near the bottom."

Idiot Blogger's overall approval rating is 12%, while his approval on handling the economy is at 09%.

Also of note, the poll found that 32% of Americans want to see Democrats thrown out of Congress, compared to the 68% who say they want Republicans to ship them to Gitmo.

Regressive Minds caught skunkomillardo on her way to the salon...

I feel sorry for her hairdresser...

In what is sure to be a shoe-in for an Oscar nomination, millardoretardo performed the lead role in a Hollywood movie:

Upon reading the following cartoon Millard started burning the Danish Flag.

Even man's best friend was no longer able to take the leftist double-speak any longer. We see here skunkomillardo's dog revolting against her establishment.

Two local fishermen were out fishing yesterday when they caught the big one.

"Well, we were using the cheap bait, not really expecting anything, y'know. And then, all of a sudden, this HUGE fish jumpes into the boat! Almost capsized us!"

Their joy soon soured when they realized what they had actually caught.

"We thought it was the catch of a lifetime, untill we saw it was really millardoretardo. I mean, what can you do with it? You can't eat it, and you sure don't want it stuffed."

On Jeopardy last week, millardoretardo lost and was totally shut out by this man

Seeking the potential bonus of cashing in on Denoire's fame and to dramtically improve her looks, skunkomillardo had Isabelle's new face retransplanted to HER

Federal Food Program Gives The Ax To The Hungry

Our wonderful American values at work here.....(insert applause)

The U.S. Department of Agriculture has given the ax to 59,000 hungry and shiftless Americans nationwide, by cutting them from the Commodity Supplemental Food Program effective February 1.

The program had been providing them with 25-pound boxes of free groceries every month.

A spokeswoman says the Agriculture Department reduced the program because of rising food costs and budget costs.  The federal government is encouraging those who have been dropped from the program, to apply for food stamps, where their actual need and willingness to work for a living would be evaluated.

Jan Pruitt, a local food bank officer in Texas, says: "The reality of the situation is, people are going to fall through the cracks. They're going to refuse to take care of themselves. They're going to go pick up their box, and it's not going to be there, and they're not going to go anywhere else.  We know these government cuts are going to mean lazy people going without food because we can't reach everybody.  This is really impacting a very useless portion of the population."

Ok, so let me see if I can wrap my brain around this.  George Bush and the neo-cons are still talking about cutting taxes (by tring to make the tax cuts permanent), and our government won't support useless and lazy people who won't pry themselves off the couch and work for a living? Sounds like a genius move to me!

Kudos to the Bush Dream Team!

Man, 82, Arrested in Scuffle Over Skunk

NOVATO, Calif. (AP) - An 82-year-old animal lover was arrested this week on allegations he grabbed and brandished a trapper's revolver during a scuffle over the skunk.

Lou Kessler was arrested Tuesday. He was released on his own recognizance Wednesday after being charged with misdemeanor counts of using a firearm in a fight and disturbing the peace.

The victim, Ron Bailey, 52, told The Press Democrat in a phone interview that he simply was doing his job as a state-licensed trapper and he believes Kessler disobeyed the law and attacked him.

The scuffle allegedly began when Kessler and his wife went to a home Tuesday afternoon at the request of an animal-rights advocate in San Francisco, who had asked them to release a skunk that had been trapped by the property owner.

Kessler's wife Margaret said she heard Bailey and his son yell, "Do not release the skunk, sir," as they charged down the hill toward her husband. She alleges the men attacked her husband and he tried to defend himself.

Bailey admits that his son, who was also at the scene, knocked Kessler to the ground but said it was only after the elderly man grabbed his gun.

"He reaches into my holster and pulls my gun out," Bailey said. "I'm looking in the barrel of my own gun - he's got it in both hands one foot away from my stomach."

Bailey is licensed as a trapper by the state Fish and Game Department and legally can carry a gun.

Even Millards gentlemen "callers" have had enough

Millard resorts to technology to find her funny bone.

(watch the pic change Millard)

 

Unfortunately, about five minutes after she joined the terrorists, Skunkomillaro was apprehended by US troops and sent to club Gitmo.

Skunkomillardo makes another attempt at the bike...

Due to her weak stance on foreign policy, Skunkomillardo has been targeted by an insurgent computer.
However, even it could not stand the Idiot Blogger, and has activated itself to sabotage her website.

Republicanism Caused By Brain Disorder, Mutation

By Red Square 1/31/2006, 12:06 pm

Click here to see larger image Scientists have finally identified a fatal brain disorder responsible for the behavior of Republicans, Conservatives, and other capitalist class enemies. After the Washington Post reported on a revolutionary study, in which progressive researchers scanned Republican brains for signs of deformation, we contacted the institute that conducted the study, the Karl Marx Treatment Center. The Center provided us with blood-chilling CAT images that show what happens to a brain that is allowed to grow without the caring guidance of the progressive establishment. The composite sketch (left) is final, undeniable proof that Republicanism is a direct result of a degenerative brain mutation. ~ Dr. Fuku: "That's what happens when a human brain is allowed to grow without the caring guidance of the progressive establishment. The inflicted develop delusions that democracy is the best known form of government, that capitalism creates wealth, and that people all over the world desire liberty and prosperity - while every progressive humanitarian knows that the best form of government is the dictatorship of the proletariat, that capitalism creates poverty, and that nobody really wants liberty and prosperity for themselves outside of the collective." Dr. Good: "We named this brain disorder "Fukuism" after the legendary People's Doctor Leonid Fuku who headed our research. The next best thing would be to name it after Professor Lysenko - but that might just sound a little too funny." In a deformed Republican (capitalist) brain, areas that normally control life-sustaining processes (the Guilt Gland, the Envy Center, or the Everything for Free Lobe, etc.) are miniaturized - while other regions become bloated out of proportions (the Personal Responsibility Lobe, the Self-Interest Cluster, or the overdeveloped and inflexible Spinal Cord that is connected to the Absolute Morality Lobe). Symptoms of a Republican brain mutation include delusional ideas that democracy is the best known form of government, that capitalism creates wealth, that American culture stems from Judeo-Christian tradition, that people all over the world desire liberty and prosperity, that Third World countries should be self-reliant, that moral standards are absolute and objective, that the individual supersedes the collective, that parents should teach children values and have a wide choice of schools, and similar incoherent ramblings that mimic the speech of the insane. Everyone knows that the complete opposite is true. As of yet, there is no cure for this disorder, which transforms the entire brain into a regressive biological structure. Fearing that this ailment can be contagious, doctors recommend quarantine and a warning for the public. Karl Marx Treatment Center researchers are optimistic about finding a vaccine that will prevent this degenerative anomaly among children and the marginally afflicted, allowing their brains to be equal in structure, size, and content with those of healthy progressive individuals. A Center spokesperson indicated that the following therapies have proven effective in clinical trials, and will benefit those in need of treatment: A class in Social Studies at Columbia University. Regular intake of unbiased NPR programming (e.g., Fresh Air or News Hour) Exposure to a healthy and nourishing culture, including heavy doses of the Vagina Monologues, or any of the award-winning movies and documentaries (Brokeback Mountain, Transamerica, Syriana, Good Night and Good Luck, etc.) produced by progressive Hollywood filmmakers. "Tough love" employment practices that will deny patients career advancement and higher-education opportunities while their brains self-heal to a normal progressive state. If the above doesn't work, the researchers recommend that the afflicted receive a free trial subscription to The New York Times. If they renew, they will be considered cured. A composite sketch of a socialist liberal Democrat brain is on the way, comrades. Stay tuned for updates.